Awkward Introduction
by Schyzotypal X
Summary: Hazing!Verse 1: Loki is brought on board by way of Thor's nepotism and everyone else makes introductions in the form of threats.


**Awkward Introduction**

It had all been Thor's idea really. Loki would have been completely content hiding out in Asgard for the rest of his life, confined to his prison cell of a room with little more to do than pick at his bellybutton and stare at the ceiling.

The entire debacles inception had been when that ironclad mortal, Tony, had introduced Thor to some vile televised earth entertainment called Judge Judy. It was then that Thor had learned of the Midgardian legal concept of community service. He had taken to the idea immediately and had vehemently lobbied for it with the AllFather and High Council.

"What my brother needs is not a prison cell, but an environment that encourages the good in him to grow and thrive!"

"And you think these...Avengers will be able to provide that for him?"

"If anyone can, they will be able to."

"And what if he...acts out again?"

Thor's knuckles cracked around his hammer. "Trust me. That will not be the case."

So here he is, Loki, once son of Odin and now son of no one, appealing to the group of mongrels that had foiled all of his plans in a single day.

As expected, they don't greet him with open arms.

* * *

"This is my brother, Loki." Thor slaps a hand on his back, pushing him forward towards the gaping group of heroes. "He will be joining us in our endeavors to protect the realm of Midgard. Please, treat him well."

Tony is the first to break the silence. Loki will soon learn that Tony is _always _the one to break the silence.

"Reindeer games? Are you serious? Him?"

And so it begins.

"He's a villain, a criminal, he should be in a jail not in this room."

"He stole the tesseract and tried to use it to destroy earth."

"He tried to make me his personal slave."

"He KILLED COULSON."

Loki shrinks under the almost palpable hatred that fills the room. Thor rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. "This is all true but...he is very very sorry!"

Fury steps forward, hand already inching towards his gun. "You better give me a damn good reason not to kill this motherfucker where he stands."

"Because he's...really _really_sorry?"

Loki nods, paling at the disapproving glares that seem to burn holes in his robes. "I-I just want to repay my debt to society...to _help _people." He isn't quite sure if it's the fear or that niggling feeling of guilt that has been lingering in the back of his head, but he seems to sound convincing. Fury doesn't stop holding his gun but his finger eases away from the trigger.

Tony speaks again. "Well...we could always use another god on the team...you know...for backup."

Thor grins. "And what backup he will be! Loki will serve Midgard with the loyalty of an Asgardian floggin if you allow him to join!"

"And if we don't let him on the team?" Steve asks looking at Thor.

Thor shrugs and sets his jaw. "Then he and I will return to Asgard. _Both _of us."

"It doesn't sound like you're leaving us much of choice in this then."

"That's because I am not."

Steve sighs, and shrugs. "Well, I guess it can't be helped."

Fury scowls. "Fine, but one step out of line, one infraction, and Thor, I don't expect imprisonment, I expect complete termination."

Loki swallows thickly and Thor's expression darkens.

"I understand." He says, grimly.

Loki swallows again and this time it's audible.

Fury eyes him for a second, hand still on his gun, and then turns. "Fine, but remember Thor, one step out of line." He looks back at Loki. "Welcome to the team...I guess."

Loki nods, unable to speak.

* * *

Introductions are nothing short of horrifying.

"Hi! My names Natasha Romanoff. You might remember me as the woman you called a quim. Thor told me what a quim is." She hefts the spear that was once his, letting the blue stone come level with his eyes. "I know how to use this. Make sure you don't make me use it on you."

"Don't screw this up reindeer games, or else I'll show you the real meaning of screwed."

"My names Steve...we met in Germany remember...you tried to kill me...let's not do that again okay?"

"You know, the last order I received regarding you was to shoot on sight...I see you."

Only Bruce meets him without hostility. Instead he welcomes Loki with the calm satisfaction of a man who knows he can pile drive a god into the ground.

"Hi there. Remember me?"

Afterwards, as he and Thor prepare to make their way back to Asgard using the newly reconstructed Bifrost, Thor asks him if he made any friends among the team.

Loki doesn't even have the will enough to lie.

* * *

Spazzing on Avengers and Tom Hiddelston with horrible OOC Good!Loki fanfiction. Good luck on ze finals for anyone who still has them.

-Schyzotypal X


End file.
